Where did 2009 go?
Not that I'm sorry it's over -- I don't think there are very many people who are sad to see the backside of this year. But this year has flown by on supersonic wings. Especially the last two months, which seem to have lasted about two weeks!
When I lost my job, I thought I'd take advantage of the extra time to focus on some pet personal projects that have been on my mind and my "bucket list" but that I never seemed to have time to complete. Working on my book, organizing the house & garage and clearing out 3 years of accumulated junk, creating my new website -- and of course, working on my resume, my personal marketing plan and my job search. I don't know WHY it didn't all get done in 60 days!
Now I'm facing several job offers at the beginning of January and the reality of going back to work full time, and I'm starting to have a panic attack that it hasn't been long enough. Which then makes me incredibly guilty to feel this way at the moment, because really, who complains about job offers in a difficult market? But I AM questioning whether going back to work for someone else is really the right thing to do. What if I only need a few more months to make some great things happen on my own? On the other hand, a challenging career working for a company that will give me a lot of control and a lot of discretionary income is also highly satisfying and....what's that word? Oh, yeah...safe.
One thing I do know is that I'm determined that 2010 will be a much better, much different year than 2009. I took some baby steps this year that I intend to turn into fearless leaps -- no matter how terrifying or difficult. I'm afraid I don't believe that the meek will inherit the earth. Or perhaps it's just that I don't believe I should sit around waiting for an inheritance.
And I believe in the power of specific goals. So here are some of mine for next year:
1. Accept a lucrative, flexible job offer or produce consulting income no later than February 1st.
2. Submit Twelve Months to SVWC in May. Finish book in 2010.
3. Resolve relationship paralysis.
4. Pitch the Berkeley book to a cable network as a mini-series.
5. Launch portal site.
6. Run 2 half marathons and possibly one marathon (gulp).
7. Get my financial house in order.
OK, those are the SERIOUS things. But there are also some fun things I want to be sure I do:
1. Host a Passion Party.
2. Go to Disneyland. Or maybe on a Disney cruise. I realize I'm a nerd here, but I don't care.
3. Canyon Ranch. And regular spa days.
4. Take a 12-week workout class with my scary-fit friend(s). Do the Wii Fit.
5. Research the silly wine idea. Include at least one Napa trip.
6. Bowling.
7. Lunch/drinks with my fabulous friends.
8. Vegas, baby.
9. Sex, for the love of god. (Now, why did I think of this last??? Have I not learned??)
I'm sure there's more. There's always more. But I'm feeling up to the challenge.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Gotta Love It
Courtesy of the three year old:
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Five gold wigs,
Four collic birds,
Three Frenchmen,
Two Turtle bugs,
and a Padre in a Pierre tree.
Gotta love it.
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Five gold wigs,
Four collic birds,
Three Frenchmen,
Two Turtle bugs,
and a Padre in a Pierre tree.
Gotta love it.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Show Up At The Page
Now that I have two kids, I'm really understanding the whole "room of one's own" thing in a visceral way.
But I'm also learning that if things aren't going the way I want them to, I usually have only myself to blame. Laziness and procrastination are easy drinking buddies, but they leave behind a nasty hangover. I can't call myself a writer if I don't write, the bills won't pay themselves, and if I'm not being treated the way I want then I better fix the circumstances and the terms, because no one else will.
Sometimes I just have to kick my own ass. I hate that.
But I'm also learning that if things aren't going the way I want them to, I usually have only myself to blame. Laziness and procrastination are easy drinking buddies, but they leave behind a nasty hangover. I can't call myself a writer if I don't write, the bills won't pay themselves, and if I'm not being treated the way I want then I better fix the circumstances and the terms, because no one else will.
Sometimes I just have to kick my own ass. I hate that.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
New Starts
I've been neglecting my blog lately.
I experienced what a lot of my clients have gone through when I was unexpectedly fired from my job (unfairly, of course - doesn't that go without saying). So on top of everything else I've been working through, I had to get through that too. However, I think I've come to conclusion that maybe in order to get through my paralysis, ALL of the crap in my life needed to be torn down, swept off, pulverized, and otherwise gotten out of the way. I just hadn't realized that included my job!
2010 will be the year of moving forward.
It's funny, but after I got past the anger over the details of my situation, I started to realize that leaving that way actually created a gateway for me to get to what I really want to be doing with my time, my energy, and my focus going forward. So I've been working on the book - which is getting stronger every day. I've been working on the plan for a website, which is bringing a lot of excitement when I share the idea. I've been facilitating some really interesting discussions around an entrepreneurial venture. I've been working on several consulting projects, which are bringing in enough money. I'm running on a regular basis, and I'm registered for some big races next year, which is a huge step for me. And I've actually got the time and the equilibrium to think about resolving my personal life, instead of sweeping it under the rug and thinking I'll just deal with it later.
And my office is organized, the house is clean, and the laundry is done, all at the same time, for the first time since we've lived here.
When I had to transition from my corporate email back to my personal after seven years, I was reminded that Leap and the net will appear was my motto. I think it particularly apt for 2010.
I experienced what a lot of my clients have gone through when I was unexpectedly fired from my job (unfairly, of course - doesn't that go without saying). So on top of everything else I've been working through, I had to get through that too. However, I think I've come to conclusion that maybe in order to get through my paralysis, ALL of the crap in my life needed to be torn down, swept off, pulverized, and otherwise gotten out of the way. I just hadn't realized that included my job!
2010 will be the year of moving forward.
It's funny, but after I got past the anger over the details of my situation, I started to realize that leaving that way actually created a gateway for me to get to what I really want to be doing with my time, my energy, and my focus going forward. So I've been working on the book - which is getting stronger every day. I've been working on the plan for a website, which is bringing a lot of excitement when I share the idea. I've been facilitating some really interesting discussions around an entrepreneurial venture. I've been working on several consulting projects, which are bringing in enough money. I'm running on a regular basis, and I'm registered for some big races next year, which is a huge step for me. And I've actually got the time and the equilibrium to think about resolving my personal life, instead of sweeping it under the rug and thinking I'll just deal with it later.
And my office is organized, the house is clean, and the laundry is done, all at the same time, for the first time since we've lived here.
When I had to transition from my corporate email back to my personal after seven years, I was reminded that Leap and the net will appear was my motto. I think it particularly apt for 2010.
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