I like to think I'm a pretty resilient person.
As crazy as things may get around me, I've always been able to look at the situation and try to figure out what I need to learn, or what I need to teach, and thank god, I have a pretty well developed sense of humor. But for the first time in a long time, I'm really feeling like I'm a bit overwhelmed this week, like maybe I just don't know where the safe landing is. I'm not sure I can take one more damn thing.
At least I have unbelievably great friends.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
Friday Nights
Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending
I never thought that I
had any more to give
You're pushing me so far,
here I am without you
Drink, to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
Love remains the same.
Gwen Stefani I can live without, but Gavin Rossdale I like. And somehow these lyrics seemed quite apt, tonight.
Truth is I am done pretending
I never thought that I
had any more to give
You're pushing me so far,
here I am without you
Drink, to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
Love remains the same.
Gwen Stefani I can live without, but Gavin Rossdale I like. And somehow these lyrics seemed quite apt, tonight.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Golden
If I could just have at least one weekend like this every month.
This weekend, unexpectedly, turned into the perfect storm of just what I needed to recoup and energize after several weeks/months of bad juju. My girls spent the weekend with their aunt, and my husband flew out of town for a conference, so Friday night was spent downtown having some creative time with four really good friends and some Justin pinot, which resulted in a really BIG business idea involving box wine (don't ask), a couple of possible jobs, and laughing until my sides hurt. Not to mention the cheddar and butter orgy - but some things should just be left unsaid.
Saturday morning I went back to my old stomping grounds in Newport Beach, and ran six miles, half on the boardwalk and then back again on the sand. It was one of those absolutely perfect days -- crisp and sunny, with no one on the beach. I stopped at the old house, but no one was home. It felt so good to be there, like a homecoming, and I realized I hadn't been back for at least 2-3 years. Lots and lots of renovations going on -- one of these days I'll have to figure out how to finagle a house there.
After my run I headed for the hills and the house of my best friends and surrogate family. We sat in the jacuzzi, drank champagne, and took turns getting a massage from a guy who used to work for Two Bunch Palms. On the whole, it probably ranks up there with one of the best afternoons of my life! And then we got dressed and took four teenagers to see Spamalot -- not as funny as the movie, but a surreal deja vu experience to hear the four next to us quoting lines that WE were quoting at sixteen too. Maybe 40 is really the new 16? We came back and got out old photo albums from when we were all in college together and told old stories about people we haven't seen since, which was hysterical and bittersweet at the same time -- and then watched Heathers, which I don't think I've seen or thought of for at least 15 years. A fabulously evil movie -- found myself shouting the lines out in each scene, and all of us laughing until we cried. It made me remember what it's like to be around people who get everything about you, who not only appreciate but celebrate the fundamental elements of your life and perspective. It also made me think I may have to relocate to OC at some point so I can have that in my life again on a regular basis.
Or maybe I wouldn't appreciate it so much if I did.
This weekend, unexpectedly, turned into the perfect storm of just what I needed to recoup and energize after several weeks/months of bad juju. My girls spent the weekend with their aunt, and my husband flew out of town for a conference, so Friday night was spent downtown having some creative time with four really good friends and some Justin pinot, which resulted in a really BIG business idea involving box wine (don't ask), a couple of possible jobs, and laughing until my sides hurt. Not to mention the cheddar and butter orgy - but some things should just be left unsaid.
Saturday morning I went back to my old stomping grounds in Newport Beach, and ran six miles, half on the boardwalk and then back again on the sand. It was one of those absolutely perfect days -- crisp and sunny, with no one on the beach. I stopped at the old house, but no one was home. It felt so good to be there, like a homecoming, and I realized I hadn't been back for at least 2-3 years. Lots and lots of renovations going on -- one of these days I'll have to figure out how to finagle a house there.
After my run I headed for the hills and the house of my best friends and surrogate family. We sat in the jacuzzi, drank champagne, and took turns getting a massage from a guy who used to work for Two Bunch Palms. On the whole, it probably ranks up there with one of the best afternoons of my life! And then we got dressed and took four teenagers to see Spamalot -- not as funny as the movie, but a surreal deja vu experience to hear the four next to us quoting lines that WE were quoting at sixteen too. Maybe 40 is really the new 16? We came back and got out old photo albums from when we were all in college together and told old stories about people we haven't seen since, which was hysterical and bittersweet at the same time -- and then watched Heathers, which I don't think I've seen or thought of for at least 15 years. A fabulously evil movie -- found myself shouting the lines out in each scene, and all of us laughing until we cried. It made me remember what it's like to be around people who get everything about you, who not only appreciate but celebrate the fundamental elements of your life and perspective. It also made me think I may have to relocate to OC at some point so I can have that in my life again on a regular basis.
Or maybe I wouldn't appreciate it so much if I did.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Seriously?
Forget the pre-relationship credit check.
There are only two things you need to find out about someone before you marry them:
1. How do they handle packing for a trip? and
2. How do they handle filing their taxes?
In other words, if: (a) they run through the house frantically searching for things like a madperson while yelling at you 20 minutes before you have to leave for the airport, and (b) they consistently file for an extension, put off meeting with the accountant, and then lose the folder with all of your tax receipts, 1098s and 1099s -- RUN AWAY. Believe me, your life will be far, far better if you do.
Not that I'm speaking from experience or anything. Just a hunch.
There are only two things you need to find out about someone before you marry them:
1. How do they handle packing for a trip? and
2. How do they handle filing their taxes?
In other words, if: (a) they run through the house frantically searching for things like a madperson while yelling at you 20 minutes before you have to leave for the airport, and (b) they consistently file for an extension, put off meeting with the accountant, and then lose the folder with all of your tax receipts, 1098s and 1099s -- RUN AWAY. Believe me, your life will be far, far better if you do.
Not that I'm speaking from experience or anything. Just a hunch.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Progress
It's Sunday morning around 10:00am, and I'm skipping church and writing porn. Gotta love it!
Ok, I'm not REALLY writing porn. I'm writing down a dream I had - which thank god was much better than the last dream I had where every dysfunctional couple I've ever known in my life got back together and it felt like I was running through the dream yelling, "NOOOOOO..." endlessly -- and working on my novel, which needs to have porn so it can be excerpted in Cosmo (except I swear I'm not going to stop my sex scenes and have the main character moan, "...do you have a condom?" Yes, yes, I'm all for safe sex but seriously???).
Was that the longest run-on sentence ever?
I guess that 100 days must be paying off. My subconscious has obviously decided that if I can't have real sex in my life, it will at least give me some really good dream sex. Which gave me some great motivation this morning to go for a 6 mile run. Can we say...sublimation? Plus, I noticed this morning (sex on the brain) that my local grocery store sells Astroglide -- who knew? Score! And then I figured out yet another piece of the puzzle that is my novel (if not the puzzle that is my life), so I'm feeling pretty good about TODAY. I'll just be Scarlett for a while and worry about everything else tomorrow.
Ok, I'm not REALLY writing porn. I'm writing down a dream I had - which thank god was much better than the last dream I had where every dysfunctional couple I've ever known in my life got back together and it felt like I was running through the dream yelling, "NOOOOOO..." endlessly -- and working on my novel, which needs to have porn so it can be excerpted in Cosmo (except I swear I'm not going to stop my sex scenes and have the main character moan, "...do you have a condom?" Yes, yes, I'm all for safe sex but seriously???).
Was that the longest run-on sentence ever?
I guess that 100 days must be paying off. My subconscious has obviously decided that if I can't have real sex in my life, it will at least give me some really good dream sex. Which gave me some great motivation this morning to go for a 6 mile run. Can we say...sublimation? Plus, I noticed this morning (sex on the brain) that my local grocery store sells Astroglide -- who knew? Score! And then I figured out yet another piece of the puzzle that is my novel (if not the puzzle that is my life), so I'm feeling pretty good about TODAY. I'll just be Scarlett for a while and worry about everything else tomorrow.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Enough with the negativity
I have to admit I've been somewhat depressed recently, for a number of reasons. But I got an interesting email today, and I'm plagiarizing it because it made me think about things in a slightly different vein. Which is a good thing. So I thought I'd share:
What will you do with the next 100 days?
Tuesday actually marked the final 100 days of 2009. And Jian Ghomeshi from CBC radio challenged listeners to do something with those 100 days.
He suggested maybe writing a hundred pages of that novel you’ve wanted to write, or doing 100 push-ups every day for the next 100 days, etc. I love this idea because it gives you a simple and focused way to achieve a goal. What would it mean for your professional success, if for the next 100 days you:
Contacted one new potential client each day, or
Wrote a blog post on your business website each day, or
Networked with one new person on your favorite social media site each day, or
Performed a writing exercise each day, or
Added a new page to your money-making website each day?
Whatever you choose, doing it 100 times, day after day, could have a profound impact on your business this year. Not to mention propel you forward that much faster towards success in 2010.
So of course they are focused on business, and that could be very powerful. But what if you took a more holistic approach? What could you do for the next 100 days that would make you HAPPIER, as well as more successful?
You could:
Do SOME form of exercise every day (at least walk)
Talk to one good friend
Drink one glass of really good wine
Do one thing that is entirely selfish
Do one thing that is entirely unselfish
Write down one thing you're grateful for
Think about something you love for 5 minutes
Think creatively about how to address one thing that bugs you
Who knows where this could lead?
What will you do with the next 100 days?
Tuesday actually marked the final 100 days of 2009. And Jian Ghomeshi from CBC radio challenged listeners to do something with those 100 days.
He suggested maybe writing a hundred pages of that novel you’ve wanted to write, or doing 100 push-ups every day for the next 100 days, etc. I love this idea because it gives you a simple and focused way to achieve a goal. What would it mean for your professional success, if for the next 100 days you:
Contacted one new potential client each day, or
Wrote a blog post on your business website each day, or
Networked with one new person on your favorite social media site each day, or
Performed a writing exercise each day, or
Added a new page to your money-making website each day?
Whatever you choose, doing it 100 times, day after day, could have a profound impact on your business this year. Not to mention propel you forward that much faster towards success in 2010.
So of course they are focused on business, and that could be very powerful. But what if you took a more holistic approach? What could you do for the next 100 days that would make you HAPPIER, as well as more successful?
You could:
Do SOME form of exercise every day (at least walk)
Talk to one good friend
Drink one glass of really good wine
Do one thing that is entirely selfish
Do one thing that is entirely unselfish
Write down one thing you're grateful for
Think about something you love for 5 minutes
Think creatively about how to address one thing that bugs you
Who knows where this could lead?
Monday, August 31, 2009
Happiness is...what, exactly?
And just when I'm feeling all cocky, like maybe things are turning around and going in the direction I'd like them to for once, life comes along and gives me a nice little smackdown.
If you asked me, I wouldn't say that I'm a sucker for punishment. I don't think I'm needy or have self esteem issues. Maybe it's some kind of genetic defect that ensures that I will fall hard for the wrong men, and then stick it out and hope that I'm wrong long past the point that a smart person would have run screaming for the lifeboats.
Stupid is as stupid does, and man, I feel stupid this week. I got a multiple whammy, and I don't even want to talk about some of it - THAT's how stupid I feel. Not fun. Just lying here, contemplating the ceiling and doing a little re-evaluating of everything while I'm metaphorically flat on my ass.
So just a little taste of what I'm dealing with - just one small thing. There are several others, but like I said, I'm not going there at the moment. Maybe later.
We've had this little tax issue with my husband's company for the last 3 years (yes, 3), in which the govt claims that they haven't paid them any withholding, and they claim they have, and we go around in circles, and my husband says he'll take care of it, and I believe him. Until today, when I got a notice from my company that my wages have been garnished to pay for his tax bill. MINE. Not his. I'm the wordsmith, so what's the right phrase for this situation? Oh, that's right -- FUCK that noise.
Why have I put up with this, you might ask (along with the other stuff)? And the answer is....I don't know. Seriously. I don't know. I know that if the shoe was on the other foot, I would have had my ass kicked down the street by now. But noooo, I always have to be the nice one. Well, I'm not feeling nice.
It's a good thing I'm running the half marathon this weekend. I'm really, really not feeling particularly fond of men at the moment. Nope, not feeling the love.
If you asked me, I wouldn't say that I'm a sucker for punishment. I don't think I'm needy or have self esteem issues. Maybe it's some kind of genetic defect that ensures that I will fall hard for the wrong men, and then stick it out and hope that I'm wrong long past the point that a smart person would have run screaming for the lifeboats.
Stupid is as stupid does, and man, I feel stupid this week. I got a multiple whammy, and I don't even want to talk about some of it - THAT's how stupid I feel. Not fun. Just lying here, contemplating the ceiling and doing a little re-evaluating of everything while I'm metaphorically flat on my ass.
So just a little taste of what I'm dealing with - just one small thing. There are several others, but like I said, I'm not going there at the moment. Maybe later.
We've had this little tax issue with my husband's company for the last 3 years (yes, 3), in which the govt claims that they haven't paid them any withholding, and they claim they have, and we go around in circles, and my husband says he'll take care of it, and I believe him. Until today, when I got a notice from my company that my wages have been garnished to pay for his tax bill. MINE. Not his. I'm the wordsmith, so what's the right phrase for this situation? Oh, that's right -- FUCK that noise.
Why have I put up with this, you might ask (along with the other stuff)? And the answer is....I don't know. Seriously. I don't know. I know that if the shoe was on the other foot, I would have had my ass kicked down the street by now. But noooo, I always have to be the nice one. Well, I'm not feeling nice.
It's a good thing I'm running the half marathon this weekend. I'm really, really not feeling particularly fond of men at the moment. Nope, not feeling the love.
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