Never Enough Time

Where did 2009 go?

Not that I'm sorry it's over -- I don't think there are very many people who are sad to see the backside of this year. But this year has flown by on supersonic wings. Especially the last two months, which seem to have lasted about two weeks!

When I lost my job, I thought I'd take advantage of the extra time to focus on some pet personal projects that have been on my mind and my "bucket list" but that I never seemed to have time to complete. Working on my book, organizing the house & garage and clearing out 3 years of accumulated junk, creating my new website -- and of course, working on my resume, my personal marketing plan and my job search. I don't know WHY it didn't all get done in 60 days!

Now I'm facing several job offers at the beginning of January and the reality of going back to work full time, and I'm starting to have a panic attack that it hasn't been long enough. Which then makes me incredibly guilty to feel this way at the moment, because really, who complains about job offers in a difficult market? But I AM questioning whether going back to work for someone else is really the right thing to do. What if I only need a few more months to make some great things happen on my own? On the other hand, a challenging career working for a company that will give me a lot of control and a lot of discretionary income is also highly satisfying and....what's that word? Oh, yeah...safe.

One thing I do know is that I'm determined that 2010 will be a much better, much different year than 2009. I took some baby steps this year that I intend to turn into fearless leaps -- no matter how terrifying or difficult. I'm afraid I don't believe that the meek will inherit the earth. Or perhaps it's just that I don't believe I should sit around waiting for an inheritance.

And I believe in the power of specific goals. So here are some of mine for next year:

1. Accept a lucrative, flexible job offer or produce consulting income no later than February 1st.
2. Submit Twelve Months to SVWC in May. Finish book in 2010.
3. Resolve relationship paralysis.
4. Pitch the Berkeley book to a cable network as a mini-series.
5. Launch portal site.
6. Run 2 half marathons and possibly one marathon (gulp).
7. Get my financial house in order.

OK, those are the SERIOUS things. But there are also some fun things I want to be sure I do:

1. Host a Passion Party.
2. Go to Disneyland. Or maybe on a Disney cruise. I realize I'm a nerd here, but I don't care.
3. Canyon Ranch. And regular spa days.
4. Take a 12-week workout class with my scary-fit friend(s). Do the Wii Fit.
5. Research the silly wine idea. Include at least one Napa trip.
6. Bowling.
7. Lunch/drinks with my fabulous friends.
8. Vegas, baby.
9. Sex, for the love of god. (Now, why did I think of this last??? Have I not learned??)

I'm sure there's more. There's always more. But I'm feeling up to the challenge.