Tomorrow night is Halloween.
My old roommate and I used to throw the most rockin' Halloween parties in all of Southern California, complete with jewel-toned jello shooters, handcuffs and a killer sushi bar. It's true. One year there was even a hood ornament. The police loved us. Our neighbors wrote letters to the city mayor and tried to get us evicted. Unfortunately for them, the mayor was usually at our party, totally hammered and making out with the local news anchor in the hall closet.
What primeaval urge makes adults dress up in really odd things to go out on Halloween? When you're a kid, it's pretty simple -- pirate, princess, witch, Godzilla, skeleton. Then we get older and things get a lot weirder. Giant chickens, tumbleweeds, partly cloudy with a chance of rain, sushi, Mickey & Minnie Mouse (trust me, nothing is weirder than a grown man dressed as Mickey Mouse). And of course the slut-o-rama. Don't laugh, you've all done it. The french maid, the naughty schoolgirl, the dominatrix. I have a friend who used to come to the party every year and handcuff herself to the hottest guy. It usually worked. Pissed the rest of us off, let me tell you. Only because we hadn't thought of it first.
I did the slut thing one year. In what was clearly a career-limiting move, I went as a Freudian Slip (an outrageously revealing black negligee from Vicky's Secret with phrases like "oral fixation;" "Oedipus complex," etc. pinned all over it) the year that I worked as a project manager for an IT consulting firm. As I recall, all of my employees came to the party. (As well as my boss..) Hmmm....lets see...IT guys, jello shots, and my usually buttoned-up assets on serious display. Yeah...great idea. Thank god it was pre-YouTube.
Of course my favorite part of the evening was coming out early on in my costume to answer the door to a handful of stunned trick-or-treaters. I think those dads came back three or four times that night, just in case they were imagining things.
In comparison, my current Halloweens are oceans of tranquility, taking place as they do in this hill town that time forgot. If I really want to shake things up, maybe I can dig that little slip out and make my husband take the kids trick-or-treating. I wonder if I have time to make some jello shots?
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2 comments:
Handcuffs, jello shots, slut-o-rama; oh how I wish I could have been lucky enough to attend that party or ring that doorbell. You do an amazing job providing your readers very good visuals. Thank you for that. Helps with late night evenings of solitude and red wine (weather permitting).
I'll have to tell you about the candy necklace I wore at a different party...
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