I need a vacation

Ok, it's what? February? March already?

I need a vacation. I sent my husband and children off to church this morning by themselves because I just could not stand 5 more minutes with anyone else from the human race. Is this wrong?

There are days I wonder if I should have had a family -- and I say this as someone who is madly in love with her children. Granted, I had this worry long before I had kids, but it comes back every once in a while. I am fundamentally a solitary person -- I like my books, I like my thoughts, I like my wine; I do like other people, and I'm definitely getting more "E" as I get older, but...there are days I MISS my peace and quiet. And the ability to do whatever I want when I want to do it. Is it wrong to fantasize about divorce because it means my husband will HAVE to take the kids 50% of the time?


So...I should want to go on vacation with my husband, right? So how come lately I'm consumed with the desire to go off all by myself -- to the desert, skiing, on a cruise to Europe, WHATEVER? It can't be good. I had drinks with a good friend of mine yesterday with whom I go to Canyon Ranch every year, and she wanted me to go to some spa in the Caribbean. So I told her I'd love to (and I would), but frankly I'd have to get divorced to even consider it. Which is sad. But is it more sad that I'm sad about this? (Now I'm confusing even myself.)

I think maybe I'm on overload at the moment. Too many projects, too many committments, too much on one little plate. Lots of fodder for my therapist. And if one more stay-at-home mom friend of mine says "I don't know how you do it," I'll have to stick my head in the oven...